robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

teamcoco:

From: CONAN Monologue 05/22/13

owlcitymordred:

stagdoeandfawn:

catully:

brigwife:

latitudeoctopus:

brigwife:

wait you mean you don’t use the word ‘fortnight’ in america???

Wait what? Then what do they use?

they don’t have a word

what do you mean they don’t have a word what kind of uncivilised people are they??

the fuck is a fortnight

It’s a word for ‘two weeks’

littlemiss:

lipstickndynamite:

One of the best mom moments in TV history. I wish more parents knew how important it is to validate their children’s feelings.

handgunsx:

perks of not having a thigh gap:

• when food drops on your lap, you can catch it

thelesbianguide:

fuckinq:

sexcake:

does anyone else accidentally stare at a boys penis when hes wearing pants

me but it’s never an accident

nope, not by accident. trying to figure out what is what. like is that bulge one of your balls, both or your dick? how do penises work? so confused. 100% gold star for life.

madturbating:

today in theater someone asked my friend if he was pro gay and he was like “im not pro gay but im not amateur gay either”